Okay, so more experiences:Kings Dominion: Finally got to go to KD, and go on crazy amount of rides, such as Dominator, Anaconda, Avalanche, Rebel Yell, The Grizzly, and of course, the Ferris Wheel. I was almost dragged to the Crypt but it froze when we got on and that really freaked some of us out... and I guess it didn't help that it was the only ride I was praying would not work so I didn't have to ride it... um yeah, never doing that again. Also, instead of the flight of fear or whatever it was called, they had a haunted house called Alien Invasion or something of that sort? I cannot remember the exact name but it was just annoying having people pop out at you and make noises. Actually, that bothered me with most of the KD experience at night since I went a week before halloween.
Free things from a club: So, the next weekend, halloween weekend actually, I went to my first club which had two great experiences, both good and bad. 1) HBO was promoting True Blood so free stuff was being handed out... and now I have a sweatshirt, hat, shirt, and shot glass all showcasing True Blood.... and I don't even care for the show. 2) First time seeing how bad coat check can go, seeing my friend's jacket was given to someone else and theirs was left at the club, so both parties had inconvenience despite paying for coat check. Also, this is not one of the major pointers, but I am really starting to wonder if I am just not made for clubs, since it actually really creeps me out when a guy keeps coming back to the same girl.
RA conference: I finally got to go to RA conference this year, which was both great and slightly irritating. Great in the sense that I talked more with some RAs that are from other buildings, as well as one from mine, but irritating because of timing. All of the meetings happened at night, when I wanted to work on homework, have study groups, or just sleep. Also, there was very little early planning, and more last-minute stuff... so what time we did have was mostly random chatter. That's fine, just don't make me stay there to hear you talk about random crap I have no business in. So, I think why we didn't win anything this year was due to that very matter. Then again, last year, everything was last-minute apparently and we won... so maybe we just needed total lack of structure or more requirements from the very beginning. I just know that I'd rather not be forced to meet every two-three days when it'll be wasted and have me lack sleep. I would much, much, rather sleep weeks before the meeting, but stay up that night before. I'll go into this rant later but regardless, maybe focus more on the roll call requirements (RA-related stuff that happens to praise school seems to do a lot better) and try to actually get Display done the week before or so? I have no idea about banner, other than that apparently flashing lights might have you win -_-
Grad school courses: I finally understand why 9 credits make a student full-time for grad school. I mean, I normally do 18 credits for undergrad but this year, these classes have been killing me. I actually dropped a grad class but I am still a full-time student so it's okay... it's just disappointing to see how much of a change it is and how I cannot handle it.
Teachers outside of the class: Two years ago, one of my teachers suggested going out as a way to enjoy the time after our last class and seeing I had nothing to do, I joined just to see how it'd go. It was really surreal seeing students and my teacher interact so comfortably, drinking and talking... about both nontrivial and trivial matters. That experience was repeated again just today, except not with a teacher of mine but a teacher in a similar department. Granted, I was with older people but it all just throws me off. I'm not at all complaining, but I wish I wasn't so... shocked by it. I actually act fairly normal while I am out with the groups but i know in the back of my mind, there's a "whoa" thought repeating itself. It probably won't happen again until two years from now, haha but lets get into the personality stuff.
First off, going back to the conference thing, that made me realize that I've started to change a lot. It's actually a struggle staying up late whenever I have to finish homework. In fact, I tend to wake up early rather than stay up all night. So that's definitely one reason the 10pm meetings started to get to me when they'd end around 12-1am and we probably were productive 30 minutes of those two-three hours. Second, I've started to prefer having stuff done on my own, ahead of time, rather than do stuff together last minute. I mean, I'd cooperate and work on the stuff last minute with a group, but I like when it's structured and people have specific tasks and/or deadlines. This year really has me appreciating deadlines... like I used to think I just worked off the stress of needing to meet a deadline but in reality, it's the whole structure of it that I appreciate. I like knowing that I need to turn something in by a certain day or i'll keep putting it off and never really do it. Heck, having someone look at stuff makes me care more about doing it than if I was just told that it'd be a good idea to do something when no one else cares. I guess it's a discipline thing, since I need external motivation. It's really amusing though since I can do stuff on my own, but my motivation actually comes from an external source. I need TV or someone else working/around, or a deadline but I'd get myself to do it if those things were met. Otherwise, I'd struggle and probably won't get far.
Some personality-based things:
Second, I'd like to talk about my problem of not forgetting and just being disappointed/bitter easily.I mean, it's not as easy as it sounds, but if someone disappoints me, I tend to take it to heart and will remember when they really disappointed me. In fact, I tend to become somewhat bitter and lose interest. Granted, this usually happens more to those super close to me or admired or liked by me, and thus if I trust you a lot or consider you one of my best friends, I guess I find any reason to feel detached. I mean, is it too much to ask for notification if we have plans? Heck, is it too much to ask to keep in contact? I just don't like the idea that I don't have many close friends and I guess putting select ones on a pedestal isn't helping anything, since I can easily find a flaw and just mark them off. I know people change but it bothers me knowing that some friends just will change their whole opinion/value because they found another friend that they admire/like a lot. Ugh, I'm still bitter and I don't know how to move on/forget, but I know there's one more person I'm going to distance myself from. Yay. Who's next?