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19 June 2011 @ 07:21 pm
Marriage, Engagement, and Courtesy  
Being home for the summer means way too much time. Sadly that ends up with reruns of many shows... and sadly I have added Sex and the City to that list. Lately seeing the show makes me question a lot of things about dating and feminism. It successfully makes you think about certain things but then totally knocks off other things. One of my favorite things in Sex and Gender was discussing how Sex and the City portrays a form of feminism, or as Levy may say, "Female Chauvinist Pigs."

The question currently on my mind is the engagement process. My friend was recently browsing a bookstore and found a guide for grooms (The Groom's Instruction Manual). It was pretty amusing, which makes me believe that it was more of a joke than anything, but at the same time I feel like there is a fine line between satire and reality. I honestly wonder where that line lies when it comes to that book, since there are numerous parts of the book that seem a bit too serious. For example, there is a section titled "Distinguishing the Woman you Love from your Fiancee." Now, as hilarious as the title and the infographics are in the book, it almost seems too real. There does seem to be a trend of women going crazy during their wedding but I end up wondering if it is almost encouraged. Heck, the book even mentions that "her singular drive is to outdo any wedding she's ever attended, watched on television, or read about." Are there women who may feel compelled to be like that just to feel normal, seeing it is so commonly portrayed in the media? If we're discussing the wedding process, we can't forget the chicken that brought the egg, the engagement process.

Why is it that girls still swoon, or get deterred, from guys based on what ring they choose for the woman? I was discussing this with the friend and she mentioned how it could be from the traditional aspect where the girl would have the ring as a back-up way to survive without the guy, if things were not to work out. It would explain why the ring is preferred to be about three-months worth of a guy's salary. Well, if that is the case, we certainly don't need now seeing both sexes work almost equally, right? Well, some females may still argue that they want a good ring to show how financially secure the male is, in order to pursue marrying him. I still want to argue that it may not be needed because both sexes work and the whole point of standing up for females is to focus on gender equality. Why does it matter if he is willing to spend so much money on you when you are trying to show you are self-reliant and want to be able to spend that much money yourself? Heck, why does his income matter so much for such gifts when most people take part in pre-nuptual arrangements before marriage anyway. I feel if females still put the pressure on males for providing the ring, and popping the question, we're not just continuing tradition but rather tradition that would originally exist due to an inferior view of women.

It's partially why I am against chivalry because while it is nice to have a guy open the door for me, it makes me feel like I have no strength or willpower on my own to open the darn door if he is doing it just because I am the girl, or the situation calls for it. I actually find it somewhat insulting. If women can't change their stereotypes about men, what makes us say that we shouldn't be judged on our gender? If I am not carrying anything, and have no actual reason to not be able to open the door myself, what makes you think that you should do it for me? However, when it comes to being behind someone, I do feel that they should open the door for me or keep it open, but that is just a common courtesy issue, not a gender issue. People should be nice to people because it's a nice thing to do, not because of gender. If I have some sort of handicap, sure, help me out, but if I just have XX chromosomes, there really is no initial handicap, no matter how much you may want to argue otherwise.
Current Mood: thoughtfulthoughtful
Current Music: The Darkness - Love Is Only A Feeling | Powered by Last.fm
(Anonymous) on July 7th, 2011 11:35 pm (UTC)
what I was looking for, thanks